The Twins clown show performance

The ball, the wall, the center fielder and a triple. This
is from Monday's game, but it summarizes the outfield play
in the Twins first two games of the season.

Had the Twins tried to embarrass themselves Wednesday, they could hardly have done a better job.

Ricky Nolasco, fresh off an encouraging spring training, was awful. The outfield repeatedly turned base hits into extra bases. And the hitters have not only been shut out for the season to date, they have yet to get a man to third base.

David Price and Anibel Sanchez have had something to do with that latter problem, certainly. They had nothing to do with the outfield misplays.

Wednesday illustrated the ever-increasing lack of credibility by the FSN broadcasters. Torii Hunter made a nice catch on the warning track, and Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven couldn't stop raving about the play. An inning or so later, Hunter turned a base hit to right center into a triple, and it was just crickets from the voices in the booth.

Hunter is the focus of a ticket-selling campaign -- a "Torii Territory" promo airs with regularity on FSN these days -- and as such never is heard a discouraging word. We viewers and listeners will do well to remember: Dick-n-Bert are selected and paid by the Twins. They are the organization's house organ. When Blyleven ripped Kevin Slowey a few years ago, it was a sure sign Slowey was in the team's doghouse.

Not that Hunter was the only culprit Wednesday. For the second game -- and Twins have only played two -- Jordan Schafer misplayed a ball into three bases. On Monday it was ruled a triple; on Wednesday Schafer was charged with an error. And that wasn't his only misplay Wednesday.

Things will get better. The Twins will eventually score a run; they'll even win some games. But man, they do not look anywhere near as good as they seem to think they are.