The Sunday Funnies

Satchel Paige is lounging in the Cleveland Indians bullpen circa 1949, bucking up the young Mike Garcia. Garcia is nervous because the Tribe is playing the hard-hitting Boston Red Sox, and he's been told he's likely to be used in relief.

A Red Sox pinch-hitter singles, and Dom DiMaggio comes up. "Now this guy is a mess," Paige tells Garcia. DiMaggio singles.

Up comes Johnny Pesky. Paige snorts. "Pesky! Who ever said that man could hit?" Pesky singles to load the bases and bring up Ted Williams. Indians shortstop-manager Lou Boudreau goes to the mound.

"Now we're in good shape," Paige tells the worried Garcia — and then Boudreau turns to the bullpen and signals, not for Garcia, but for Paige.

Ol' Satch falls silent, then sadly reaches for his glove. Before heading out to the mound, he tells the suddenly relieved Garcia:

"Son, just remember: When you're disputing the Red Sox, put your faith in the power of prayer."

The old records

Portrait of the pitcher as
a young man —
How can I pass up the chance
to use Jamie Moyer's
1987 card?

The Monday print column this week celebrates the return to a major-league rotation of Jamie Moyer, the last of the baby boom generation still playing in the bigs.

Moyer made the Colorado Rockies' rotation as a nonroster invitee this spring; the 49-year-old lefty is to start the second game of the season for the Rox.

When (if) Moyer gets his first win of the year, he will become the oldest winning pitcher ever, beating out Jack Quinn, one of the last legal practitioners of the spitball.

Moyer won’t be the oldest man to start a major league game; that will still be Satchel Paige, who was given a start on Sept. 25, 1965, by the Kansas City Athletics in a move that was part stunt and part humanitarian (it made Paige eligible for a pension).

Ol’ Satch “demeaned the standards of major league baseball” — the term used by The Sporting News in a 1948 editorial blasting the Cleveland Indians for signing the Negro League legend — to the tune of one hit allowed in three innings.

Paige was 58 when he made that final start, give or take a few years. (The mystery of Paige’s age was and remains integral to his legend.)

But if Moyer is effective enough to stick in the Rockies rotation, that will be at least as impressive as a 58-year-old carving up a lineup with Carl Yastrzemski and Tony Conigilaro on a one-game stand.